Ultimate Paleolithic Collection by Amelia Simons [popular pdf books]

  • Full Title : Ultimate Paleolithic Collection: 4 Weeks of Fabulous Paleolithic Breakfasts, Lunches, and Dinners with Appetizers and Desserts ALL IN ONE! (4 Weeks of Fabulous Paleo Recipes)
  • Autor: Amelia Simons
  • Print Length: 346 pages
  • Publisher: 
  • Publication Date: May 29, 2012
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: B008782474
  • ISBN-13: 
  • Download File Format: epub


***7.7.13 ~ UPDATED with pictures and a comprehensive CLICKABLE INDEX at the end!***

Buyers of Ultimate Paleolithic Collection are saying:

~ "This author has done a good job of making some of my favorite "traditional" dishes like waffles and muffins into paleo friendly ones. The banana almond muffins and apple cinnamon waffles are delicious and gets me excited about trying more of her recipes. Highly recommended."
~ "I would recommend this book not only to those new to the diet, but for those looking for additional great tasting recipes, too."
~ "The fact that it covers breakfast, lunch, and dinner makes it a great value. It also has some appetizer and dessert recipes."

In Amelia Simons’ Ultimate Paleolithic Collection cookbook, you will find a comprehensive collection of over 100 recipes from ALL those found in:

  • 4 Weeks of Fabulous Paleolithic Breakfasts
  • 4 Weeks of Fabulous Paleolithic Lunches
  • 4 Weeks of Fabulous Paleolithic Dinners
  • PLUS and ADDITIONAL 30 scrumptious grain free and gluten-free appetizer and dessert recipes.

Some of the delicious choices you will find in this collection are:

  • Delicious Quiché Cups
  • Hearty Sautéed Peach Salad
  • Grilled Chicken Breasts with Garlic
  • Garlic Hummus
  • Chocolate Coconut Pudding
  • AND many different muffin, bread, and pancake recipes!

Also included in this cookbook is an overview of the Paleolithic lifestyle that will give you a quick, easy-to-follow guide of the foods recommended and ones to avoid.

PLUS, you will be thrilled with the newly created and comprehensive CLICKABLE index containing all the main ingredients used in every recipe! For example, do you have some meat you want to use? Then, go to the index, find the meat you have, look at the list of recipes that use that kind of meat in it, click on the recipe title that sounds enticing, and the link takes you straight to that recipe.

The clickable index makes searching SO EASY and is a feature you will thoroughly enjoy.

Don’t miss out on this comprehensive cookbook for only $3.99! New favorites are just a click away for you, your family and friends.

Now scroll back up to the top of this page and click on the "BUY" button to make your next dinner party, breakfast, family gathering, or snack delicious as you live a healthier lifestyle! You have just found yourself a real bargain and a great addition to your culinary library!

Please note:
If you are a Paleo eater like me and enjoy living by Mark Sisson’s "80/20 rule," (eat a strict Paleo diet 80% of the time and relax a little bit the other 20%), you will find a few recipes that offer you the suggestion of using some dairy products like aged cheeses or butter if you can tolerate dairy. Also, because the issue of bacon continues to be an ongoing debate, bacon is also a suggestion in a couple of recipes for you to consider enjoying on occasion if you desire. Finally, raw honey is used as a sweetener in several recipes, but can certainly be eliminated in most if you do not wish to include it.




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th-grade social circle from my second-grade sidelines.

The rules of the game were quite simple. Everyone would contribute a portion of their lunch and as a group we concocted a special recipe. Upon its completion, I would . . . eat it. Combinations could include (but were not limited to):

•M&M’s and Fig Newtons, maybe with an accompanying ketchup garnish;

•Cheez-Its dipped in chocolate pudding;

•Potato chips crushed into Jell-O snacks (preferably green-flavored for the limey kick; the reds didn’t do much for my palate and would cause headaches from what would later be identified as a familial allergy to the popular chemical Red Dye #40, outlawed in many European countries but readily embraced by our American dietary needs for color and excess);

•Bologna and peanuts.

The point of the game was to encourage as much chaos as possible. Given the diverse social circles on the schoolyard, it was easy to bounce from group to group without drawing too much attention. I was lucky in that way. I liked to think of myself as something akin to a traveling minstrel. With an appetite.

The game moved in easy cycles, as it was a community effort, really. Bursts of laughter would attract others. It brought people together and kept everyone involved. I considered using this as a future campaign slogan for office:

“Yes, I’ll eat that.”

With everyone’s lunches laid bare, we could observe each other’s differences and expand our tiny worlds.

“Why does your juice box look like that?”

“My mom always makes me eat leftovers.”

“What’s wrong with your Cheerios?”

“These are Froot Loops.”

“No, those are Fruity O’s. I have Froot Loops.”

“OH! LUCKY! I want Lunchables.”

Ah, Lunchables.

Fucking delicious, amazing, perfect Lunchables. Food that was so clean it couldn’t even touch itself. Endless combinations and assemblies. Stacks of snacks to satiate. Nothing on this earth could beat the taste of that sweet plastic cheese and the hot-pink meat. On top of a Ritz cracker? This was the height of luxury in my eyes. My lunchtime Lolita. The second someone peeled back that plastic top, the longing on my face could belie the levity of the game itself. The sheer want would radiate from me.

(Not to mention that Lunchables kids were their own breed in my mind. They were on sports teams, they seemed to be endlessly tall and slender, and they always had siblings. Lunchables parents knew how to get a family of six out the door. That sort of family often had a student body president or two in the mix.)

But let’s go back to life as an empty plate. Each day we must fill it. But we won’t always have the pantry full of whatever we like best (for me that would be a pantry where every shelf contained cheese, the bottom shelf bearing the most soft and subtle, then each level above graduating to firmer and . . . stinkier, frankly), but that doesn’t take away our agency over what’s available.

In the section ahead, KITCHEN BASICS, you’ll learn the foundation of kitchen improvisation. You’ll learn how to say “Yes!” to your instincts and put that positive spin on the mess that’s unfolding around you. Now, don’t worry, no one begins as a master of self-sustainability. Each of these recipes will come with additional tools and tips (and drinks) for filling your heart as well as your stomach.

Take this bacon, for instance . . .

This bacon is an optimist! Somebody’s doing it right! (As long as “it” doesn’t refer to properly cooking bacon, because I mean come on.)


If you don’t know history, then you don’t know anything. You are a leaf that doesn’t know it is part of a tree.


I’d like to start this book of original recipes by saying that nothing is ever really original. Not to imply that this whole thing has been plagiarized (shout-out to Shia LaBeouf!), but rather that invention stems from the ability to connect information to imagination.

Thus, it’s important to use history to learn about things. It helps you expand your perception of the known world and increases your ability to create and connect within it.

For instance, the origin story of the sandwich has always been one of my favorite moments in history.

The 4th Earl of Sandwich, John Montagu, was a gambler and a chatterbox. He was also a brilliant military strategist and possibly a workaholic. Whatever. The point is that he was constantly occupied with doing shit. Thus, never wanting to break from the task at hand (which was primarily drinking and gambling), he would simply order his kitchens to bring him a slab of meat wedged between two pieces of bread for ease of consumption. This habit became well known among his associates, so they too began to order “The Sandwich” when in his company.

So see! The best of inventions can come from tales of inebriated convenience. I call this delectable treat The Hartwich, because I am self-absorbed.

PRO TIP: To learn more about things, read books or use the Internet!


Casual beer. Appropriate for solo day-drinking!


*bread crumbs

*ground turkey


*oregano, basil



*bean sprouts


*raw onion



*potato chips and dried seaweed (for snacking on)


First, mash the bread crumbs and the ground turkey (or chicken, depending on your mood and what is in your fridge) into a giant meatball, roughly the size of your first. Throw in some garlic or whatever to give the meatwad an extra punch. I like to add a little oregano, basil, or that “Italian seasoning” mix that the spice company so helpfully puts together for me.

Then, bake it. Cook it until it is done, all the way through. Don’t let the Hartwich poison you.

Once you’ve got your giant baked meatball, cut it in half so it roughly resembles the top and bottom of a hamburger bun. (AHA, now you see where I am going with this.)

Next, mash up your avocado and use it as a spread on your buns (not those buns, people), along with the hummus. Throw in bean sprouts, tomato, and onion. Take a break and eat some seaweed or potato chips as a snack. Add some cheese to the sandwich if you do the dairy thing.

Use two pieces of lettuce to hold your sandwich and take a bite.

The sandwich should be roughly the size of a small slider, and pretty easy to consume. Make like five. Eat them in private for maximum enjoyment.

WARNING: Cooking in an oven, on a stove top, or on any heated surface (including city sidewalks in summertime) should only be attempted while accompanied by an adult. And by “adult” I mean someone who isn’t drunk. It can be your kid sister too. She seems pretty responsible for a sixteen-year-old. I mean, she’s always reading those YA books, so she must have learned a thing or two about life.

Life Lesson

Sometimes when I have an original idea, I like to keep it to myself for a while. Giving away the goods or sharing the thought before it’s fully cooked can sometimes reduce your enthusiasm level or incentive to execute the as-of-yet-unveiled brilliance. It’s okay to keep things close to your chest and not share them until you’re ready to do so. Thus, feel free to take those improv classes without telling your coworkers. They might not get it for a while and, for me, disbelief does not translate to motivation.

Don’t do things to prove others wrong. Do things to prove yourself right.


Life is to be lived, not controlled; and humanity is won by continuing to play in face of certain defeat.


Now, to be fair, it’s not easy to create an original piece of art from scratch. For instance, The Hartwich took at least an hour for me to think of and some people just don’t got time for that sort of dilly-dallying. So! If you want to create, but are hindered by the weight of the task ahead, then here is a recipe that will still allow you some small measure of invention . . . but mostly it just involves heating things that are already prepared in a can.


Beer (in a can! because this is the theme?)


*a can!

*something to put on top of the can!


First, go to your cabinets and check out what you’ve got. If you find you’ve got an abundance of canned items that you never get around to opening, this might be a good time to send in that Hoarders audition tape that everyone keeps joking about. Ooh! Or you could donate some of those cans to your local food bank. Putting the “CAN” in “PHIL-CAN-THROPY”. . . What do you mean that’s not a word?

Next, open up the can. Then put something on top. Need suggestions?

•Tomato soup > a grilled cheese

•French onion soup > Swiss

•Chili > an entire baked potato

•Chicken soup > puff pastry (pictured). Chicken NOT pie!

•Cherry pie filling > puff pastry again! Instant pie.

•Black beans > cheddar cheese and tortilla chips! Weird, hot, bland nachos!

See, the options are really limitless. The world is your oyster. Ooh! Oyster crackers would be good with a can of clam chowder. Better add that to the list. Feel free to write it yourself in pen. Here, let’s make a space for your own genius below.

•_____________> ________________(That’s great!)

•_____________> ________________(Yum! I want some!)

•_____________> ________________(You are so smart and good!)

I thought I would throw in some affirmations just in case. Now delicately place the item on top of the can and the can onto the top of the top rack of the oven. Close the door and never look back!

Except in like ten minutes when you definitely should look back and take it out of the oven.

Life Lesson

Don’t tell yourself to quit before you ever get the chance to try. Never forget the importance of a CAN-DO attitude.

I sometimes have a hard time explaining what My Drunk Kitchen is all about. Or why it matters to me so much. So I went on my Tumblr and asked people what it meant to them. This is what they wrote:

“My Drunk Kitchen isn’t just a show. It’s a wondrous virtual community of love, learning, and acceptance. And puns. A shit ton of puns.”


“My Drunk Kitchen is a few minutes where you can laugh at puns and slurs and slips and drops and learn absolutely nothing.”


“My Drunk Kitchen is about realizing that just because something didn’t turn out the way you wanted it doesn’t mean it is bad, that you can make the best out of a bad situation even if it seems hard to try, and to never forget cheese when making grilled cheese.”


“It’s a show that is about loving and accepting yourself. It is about making the best out of an interesting situation. Sure, there is drinking, messes, and puns, but above all, My Drunk Kitchen is a show that shows you that you are not alone and reminds people that there is more to life than just you.”


“My Drunk Kitchen is about making the most of every situation. Like maybe everything didn’t turn out the way you expected it to, but there are always lessons to be learned and silver linings. It’s also about loving yourself and loving others. And having a good time. It’s like one giant international party facilitated through the Internet. It allows people from one side of the world to have a good laugh with people on the other side. It’s about so much. :)”


“This is a show about friendship.”

—My Drunk Kitchen, episode 1, March 2011

“My Drunk Kitchen is an excellent example of the journey being more important than the destination.”


So basically, the timeline breaks down like this:

In March 2011, I was lonely and got really drunk and put it on the Internet.

In March 2012, I moved to Los Angeles to pursue a career in entertainment.

In March 2013, my roommate and I launched a campaign to raise over $200,000 and travel across the country doing charity work culminating in over 100,000 pounds of food being redistributed and over 94,000 people fed.

And now in 2014, I am “publishing” my first book.

If you can figure out how that happened, let me know. For now I am just grateful that so many people around me allowed this to happen. So thank you.


One more drink and I’ll be under the host.


In the same way that the Can Bake allows you to create without the intimidation of starting from scratch, a couple of Latke Shotkes allow you to take a shot or two without the defeat of later blacking out.

See, the “chaser” is simply intended as an analgesic to the aftermath of shot-taking.

PRO TIP: Common chasers include citrus, soda, beer, kisses, etc.

But . . . what if the chaser to a shot was actually intended to help with the night of drinking ahead?

Now, as we all know, potatoes are an excellent coating for the tummy before/after/during any night on the town. Thus, I’d like to present to you the genius behind a starch-based accompaniment to any form of drinking.


Let’s just say you’re taking a shot of vodka because this recipe is potato themed.


*A latke! (Or just use hash browns. Actually, frozen Tater Tots would work great for this. Plus that’s just way easier and it involves less danger.)


Heat your oven and bake your browns. Once they’re cooked, squish them into shot glasses. Find some tiny spoons. If you don’t have any, then sprint to your local ice cream store and ask for a sample of every flavor. Save those sample spoons. Get home and deny to everyone that you in fact licked all of the spoons you are handing them. Force them to take shots and stop asking questions. Then bring them some warm potato mush with a dollop of sour cream on top. Drink up and dig in!

Life Lesson

Always have tiny plastic spoons.

You’ll be amazed at how often you use them. Also, if you know what usually happens when you act a certain way (ex.: taking too many shots without eating), then you can prepare better in the beginning to avoid that reoccurring consequence. Plan before you puke!



•mustard (more mustard than ketchup though—always running out of ketchup)

•frozen Tater Tots

•copious amounts of cheese


•a happy hearth


•passion (for something—for anything)


You gotta know when to be lazy. Done correctly, it’s an art form that benefits everyone.


We are really getting somewhere now! But let’s rest in our efforts for a moment and see if anything we’ve learned thus far has been ingrained in our minds. It’s good to take a break from learning because it gives your brain room to process. Also, never doubt the importance of a lazy day.

Actually, that reminds me of an excellent idea that first came to me when I was eating a bag of potato chips while waiting for some lasagna to reheat. Upon taking it out of the microwave, I thought: “Man, I really don’t want to stop eating these chips.”

PRO TIP: It’s always good to be eating while you’re making something to eat so that way you don’t eat it all if you’re supposed to be sharing.




*microwave-friendly frozen (or leftover) lasagna

*1 bag potato chips


Reheat lasagna (or cook it according to the package instructions). Using your fingers, peel back a layer of the lasagna. Ow. Okay, use a different finger. Ow. Okay, still hot. Just maybe use a fork. Ugh, but you don’t have any clean forks! Wait, then what were you thinking making lasagna in the first place? How are you supposed to eat that with no fork whatsoever? I mean, I’ll give you points for being proactive about attaining food, but the level of foresight (FORK-SIGHT?) leaves much to be desired . . .

So, the next step is to go ahead and wash a fork. Ugh. But the forks are at the bottom of the dirty sink pile. There are just so many . . . and nobody has washed a single one. And since when is it your responsibility to wash ALL these dishes anyway? Maybe since you started living on your own? Huh. Maybe the dishes were always done by your roommate in your old apartment . . . she did always complain that she did all the cleaning . . . but it wasn’t always only her mess.

Yikes. Does that make you a big asshole? Better do all these dishes right now to retroactively atone for your sins. Also, this floor could be mopped some. Better do that right now too.

Great! At this point your lasagna should be cool enough for eating! Go ahead and peel it back and insert select potato chips. Sit on your newly cleaned floor and enjoy! Yum!

Life Lesson

If you find yourself always waiting for the things you want, then you might want to just start taking care of the things you need.

Quick Word from the Author:


Quick Comment from the Author:

Microwaves are scary, right? I can’t be the only person who thinks this . . . If you agree, leave a comment in the comments below! Oh wait, this is a book, not a YouTube video . . .


Pictured below are the only ingredients* you will need to make The Perfect Mimosa.

The first step is to pour out one shot’s worth of champagne . . . but be careful when opening . . . and when pouring.

Next, take that shot of champ like a champ and pour orange juice in the now empty shot glass. Then pour that shot back into the champagne bottle. Simple and sweet and ready to serve.

People have a tendency to overcomplicate things. Sometimes it’s best not to mess around too much and just get straight to the good stuff. Sort of like watching clips of your favorite scenes from Arrested Development on YouTube. I love me a good montage in the morning.


But have you guys even watched Orange Is the New Black yet? It’s just SO GOOD.

—HANNAH HART, every day of fall 2013

At this stage of our cooking adventure, you may be wondering if I’m ever going to teach you some small addition that can be incorporated into many meals. Like a fancy type of sauce that will go with different dishes or something.

Well . . . um . . . here is my best attempt at that.

But first I have a question FOR YOU (bet you didn’t see that one coming)!

Are there cooking programs in prison? Because I think that making different types of something . . . perhaps butter . . . would be a good activity for inmates. Seems smart. Low risk of injury or exposure to lethal weapons. Aside from cholesterol, maybe?


Hooch made from somewhere! (Apparently people can make moonshine in prison? Or at least they can on TV?)




*tons of buttah

*tons of various herbs and spices (see my choices in the instructions)

*a device for compounding

*whatever else you want to mix in


Cut the butter into cubes using a non-sharp object that you couldn’t possibly shank somebody with. Then wait for it to get to room temperature and maybe talk to your fellow inmate about how their rehabilitative therapy is going. After that winding road of conversation, go ahead and mix your butter with the herbs and spices you’ve been allowed.

Life Lesson

Now, I personally don’t find cooking to be relaxing and/or therapeutic. But I do think that mashing things together could probably help work out some aggression. Might even open some doors for time on the outside! Could be your new . . . dare I say it . . . bread and butter?*

WARNING: Don’t ever, EVER use a sharp knife when drunk-cooking. A butter knife should be more than e


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